Voice Mail Transcripts

01) 01-06-2011 (one month after John moved in with Diana)
What you are doing, John, I don't think you know what you're doing. You're letting this woman decide the fate of the daughter that you and I had. That's not... and things were perfect before Diana came along. Ever since then, you're different. DD is hurting more than ever. Um, it kind of reminds me of this one movie I saw where, this one man had a girlfriend, and oh, Rock, Rock, Rock tower or Rock School? I think that's what it was called. Anyway, the bitchy girlfriend kept yelling at the guy and kept yelling at the guy, "When are you ever going to stick up for yourself?" And then finally at one point he was like, I'm going to do it right now and he kicked her out of his apartment. Because all he did was trade not being able to defend himself for a woman that was so outrageously controlling that he couldn't even breathe without her permission. And that's how DD describes your relationship. And that's one reason why she doesn't want to be there. She's pretty much lost respect for you because you let Diana roll over top of you. She doesn't want to be there because she is afraid of Diana. She's constantly is blowing up and losing her temper. And I don't understand why YOU don't understand that I can't subject DD to that. It's the ultimate in unhealthy. I don't understand why you would allow somebody else to control your every decision. She doesn't even let you talk for yourself. You're not allowed to make a single decision without her permission. That's, that's sad. And I feel sorry for you. But not half as much as I feel sorry for our daughter. Cause, you've ruined her John. She's had it with you. She's so stressed. She has not had three consecutive periods in a row that are normal. She is constantly at the Dr. because she is so messed up. And the Dr. doesn't know what to do for her. She can say, calm down, but now I have to take her to the therapist, but you're not going to participate in any of that.

2) 01-06-2011
I've known (current husband) Bob C for 5 years on January 11 and in those five years he has never once read an e-mail of yours, a text message of yours, we'll talk about things if it affects him, otherwise he does for me the way I do for him. I don't like the way that he and his ex-wife raise their three boys but they are not my boys to raise. I don't understand at all why you think Diana has the right to be privvy to our discussions and e-mails. Well there are not that many emails, but our text messages? It's truly like your stepmother and Dad told me every single time: it's none of her business. If you knew what you were doing, you wouldn't be doing it, John. Everybody has just had it. They are putting their hands up. They are writing you off. Because there is something wrong with you. And it's not because all of a sudden you have a backbone. You have NEVER done anything that people want you to do. So you've always had a backbone. You've never done anything that I asked, EVER. So this isn't about me. I know you're not going to do anything I ask. I'm not asking for my sake, I'm asking for DD's. If you fell off the planet tomorrow and I didn't have a daughter with you, I would never notice because I don't care. I NEVER cared. When I cared, I got hurt. When I cared, I got slapped in the face. When I wanted to help you, I got dismissed. I'm not going to care for you. You don't care back. I'm not trying to help so that you can be a happy person. I'm trying to help because you are ruining MY daughter. It's just that simple. And our relationship has never been as terrrible as it has been lately. But again I don't care. All I care about that fact that I have a little girl that sits on my bed and cries. And I don't give a shit what Diana thinks about why she does it. Diana doesn't get a vote. She's not DD's mother.

3) 01-06-2011
That was really stupid. That was pretty much everything I said I wouldn't do that anymroe. I will just keep to the facts because I can't get through to you that DD is done with you and the only person who is going to be able to help you make any ground is ME. But I can't help you if you don't help yourself, John. If I don't see some type of effort on your part that you don't want to make amends with DD, that you don't want to make some type of repair with her, I'm telling you that I can't have you sitting on the fence and neither can she. I'm going to tell her today, Either Dad calls you today or DAD IS DONE WITH YOU. Because in her mind, you're done with her. And that's story she interpreted at your last game that you played, with saying that, well, you know, well actually you didn't say it, the one that your girlfriend did, with everything that she told DD, was just, that's it. DD's done. She's, she's done. If you're okay with that, don't call us back. And that's fine. I'll make the arrangement to handle everything in court and you can be done. Because you can't just kind of sit on the fence with your child. And when you said you said you didn't understand my text message, you're lying. Of course you understand it. You just don't want to understand it. Because on some level you know for a fact that you have short-changed your daughter and you have to accept responsibility for your daughter. but you don't want to. And she knows that. And I know that. And your Dad knows that and everybody knows that. The only person who doesn't want to know it is Diana and you. So I just find it hard to believe that you really think that every body else is wrong. Everybody is wrong. Except you and Diana. You two are the only people who know the real score and the rest of us is crazy. Now - THAT'S crazy. Because if everybody feels the exact same way - you could ask a STRANGER on the street, reiterate (end of message)

4) 01-10-2011
DD and I were in the car. She was using my phone playing Angry Birds. You gotta know what that game is because EVERYONE knows what that game is. Um. Anyway, she saw that you had called. She didn't know whether to answer it or not answer it. She decided not to answer it. So I asked her why she didn't want to answer it. She said, I don't want to do anything about this right now, I just want to leave it alone. I said, do you want me to call daddy? No. Do you want to call daddy? No. Do you want daddy to call you? No. Do you want to talk about this? No. So that's where she's at. Um. I don't know what to tell you. If you want to talk to me, I promise to stay calm. Um. You know John, what you don't know about me now could fill a book. And I know that when you and I were married to one another, I was all about wanting about wanting to control what you did so that you could stay home and be the dad I wanted you to be and the husband I wanted you to be, but you wanted to be a musician. And the more I pushed, the worse it got. And you misinterpreted me telling you to be the dad I want you to be as me trying to control and trying to push. Um. I, I want to control the circumstances that DD is in when she is under your care because of what she tells me um, when she is there because you remember you actually laughed at me when you were dating Amy, I didn't care what happened, because DD was happy and you were happy and DD was happy to be around you because you were happy and you were like, why aren't you being obnoxious like I was when you had DD at your house with you and Greg? Even though I left you for Greg, you actually kind of laughed about it. And the bottom line is I didn't have to be controlling then because DD was happy. So I'm going to insist that if DD goes to wherever you're living, she is going to be happy there.

5) 01-10-2011
Some of what you said is true. I'm not going to deny it. I don't have a problem denying it because I'm not in denial. I have problems with Bob C and he and I go to counseling to try to work on it because I want to make this work. But DD doesn't have a problem with Bob C. DD has talked to me about what she USED to have a problem with, and she has talked to Bob C about what she had a problem with. That's one issue I wanted to address. The second is, the whole issue of me being in contempt. The problem is that I am not interfering with you seeing my daughter. I am going to protect my daughter against her being exposed to Diana, but that doesn't even come close to you guys sitting and bashing me in front of her, which is what you do. I don't know what else to tell you John, you're more than welcome to come see DD, but once I get a restraining order, she can't come to your house. So, there it is. That's the bottom line and I'm sorry if you don't like it.

(NOTE: Circe's claims of abuse are completely unfounded, and even though she went to the police station, a restraining order was NEVER granted, NEVER even considered past Circe's visit to the police station and NEVER brought before a judge.)

6) 01-17-2011
Hi. Um. This is ... text messages don't say what really want to say. Voice mail, once sided, and misunderstood because there is no questions and answers happening. I don't want to yell. I don't want to discuss why things are the way they are. I want to discuss what things are looking like going forward. I am talking to the police personnel, they are expecting me to come down and get this restraining order. And I have been putting it off because I would rather not have to go that route. They feel it's necessary, I feel it's necessary, and DD's it's necessary because in her mind, she a) she does not want Diana to text her ever again, b) she's afraid of Diana and her outrage/anger fits, c) she is not comfortable in any way being or form being around Diana. She likes the fact that that restraining order will prevent Diana from being near her. That's exactly what she wants. She is thrilled that that can happen. So I want to make that happen for her. On the other hand, um, you know, the prosecutor is going to end up, you know, taking Diana into court, and you know, that's going to cost you guys money, that's going to cost you guys time, and ultimately, um, all they're going to say is okay, you can't be near DD, and then you know, any time she is, you know, DD can call the police and she goes to jail. Um, if that's what it has to come to because you don't want to listen to your daughter when she says she does not want to go to Diana's house, she does not want to talk to Diana, she doesn't want to be friends with Diana on facebook. She wants nothing, nothing to do with Diana and all you want to do is shove it down her throat. I don't care if you don't want to be around Diana, you're going to be around Diana anyway.

(NOTE: Circe's claims of abuse are completely unfounded, and even though she went to the police station, a restraining order was NEVER granted, NEVER even considered past Circe's visit to the police station and NEVER brought before a judge.)

07) 01-17-2011
Um, anyways, um my goal would be to try to fix this in a way that gives DD what she wants, gives you the opportunity to see DD, gives me the opportunity to see if things can be settled in a way that doesn't involve having to go to court. And it really, it needs to happen. I think that really what's going on is Diana is undiagnosed, severe bi-polar, because of her drastic mood swings, and anger outbursts, and her poor judge of character, and poor judge of actions, and you know, that's kind of what it sounds like to me, and maybe once Diana goes back on mediciation of some kind, then maybe things can change. But I can't have my daughter around that and I guess that you wouldn't want her to be there around that. DD says that the reason she stays calm at your house is because she's fearful to say anything because she knows if she does, no matter what she says, it's going to be wrong in Diana's eyes, and there's gonig to blow up at her, she's going to be fighting with you, and she doesn't want you to be unhappy, so she keeps her mouth shut. But the words, I hate you, I don't know, have you ever heard those kind of words coming out of a 14-year-old's mouth? Maybe a 7 year olds mouth or an 8 year old because they're not getting their way. But this isn't about DD not getting her way. This is about DD being, i don't want to say traumatized, we'll let the psychiatrist do that, but you know if the psychiatrist comes up with the idea that Diana and DD should not be near one another, well that seals it in my book. But I don' t understand why you can't just make that happen by choice without getting the court involved. It seems reasonable but in my opinion nothing you have done in the last couple of years has been reasonable.

8) 01-17-2011
Hi. The roads are terrible. I can't text and drive at the same time. Um, I didn't realize you couldn't get details about the text. The police officer, officer Woodruff, who I'm sure Diana already talked to by now, he thought that you could get details if nothing else, details about when the calls were made and um, because some of those calls were made after I had requested Diana to stop contacting, um, and she continued. Really what they are trying to figure out is if the prosecutor needs to move forward now, in terms of you know, doing some type of criminal case, or if the evidence just warrants what you and I could bring up and resolve in civil court. And domestic court. Which is actually two different courts. But they can both be, they can handle, for some cases that end up having to go through both at the same time. And it's very likely they would supoena for those records but it would look better for you if you just provided them if asked vs. the court having to go through the trouble of supoena the records. I think that's a better explaination but if not, it's probably as good as I can do because I'm just reiterating what I was told and because I am not, you know, not up to speed on legal jargon. It only means so much to me because I have such limited knowledge of the law, the only thing I can do is listen and ask for advice from those that do know.

9) 01-18-2011
I can't text and drive. Ok. DD is nervous because she knows you are going to basically either tell her she has to go to your house, or kind of like, plead and put her on a guilt trip that you want her to go to your house. But either way, she point blank just said to me a) she's never going back there again and b) she's scared to tell you that. She wants to know, quote unquote, how do I tell Dad nicely that I hate Diana? And I said to her, babe, you just have to talk to dad, and hopefully he'll listen. Those are her concerns. So I'm asking you, our daughter is stressed, I mean she is really, really stressed. She is back to having anxiety attacks because she is afraid you are going to make her go back to Diana's apartment. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She wants to see you, she just doesn't want to do it over there. You know, John I don't know what the answer is. All I know is that, um, you know, obviously, she's not going over to Diana's so you're going to have to figure out something to do about that. But HOW you do it is going to make all the difference in the world. if you are understanding, and you are compassionate, and if you give your daughter what she wants so she doesn't have to have any more anxiety over this, then things will be fine and she will heal, like you said. But if your'e going to make demands and push her around, and tell her things like tough, deal with it, then she will not respond to that and you are just going to perpetuate her anxiety. And, um, you know, it can either be good or it can be bad it's whatever you make of it. Either way, DD comes first. And I'm not going to make her go over there. She's not going to go over there. If it is, and she says that if you pick her up she's not going to get in the car if she knows that you're going to take her to Diana's house. So you just have to, I'm giving you, like forwarned is forearmed that is what she is feeling. What she's telling you is a version of that (end of message)

12) 01-20-2011
Say that you were talking to her this morning in a text and you were very positive, very positive, I'm hoping that this is a true change of heart and not just lip service to look good on some physical record of what you way. Perhaps my real concern is that this is just lip service and this is DD's concern too. But again she's not going to tell you these things John because she loves you and she doesnt' want to hurt your feelings. Everything that comes out of her mouth is going to say it as best she can so that she doesn't hurt you. She's going to try to make sure that you are okay. Because she wants to take care of you. That's backwards. She should be thinking only about you taking care of her. Not her taking care of you. That's the way it's supposed to work. Because you're not the kid, she is. Somebody said the other day, where the kids live, we live for our kids, not the other way around. Because your parents lived for you, and it's our job to live for our kids, and DD's job is to live for her kids. It only flows backwards, you know, when we're old and we have to want to be put in a nice nursing home instead of a yuckky one. Otherwise she doesn't have to sit and worry to death about whether or not you're going to love her or not according to what she does. You should love her unconditionally no matter what. And that is in question in her mind. I can tell by what she says and how she acts. She may not know that that's what is in question, but if you heard what she says, John, it would break her heart. Diana says, oh well she doesn't act like a baby like that, she doesn't talk like that. You know what? When DD talks about you, she reverts, because she's been questioning whether you love her since she was four years old. (crying) And that is, that is the bottom line. You have to address her like she is a little girl in this department. Because in her mind and in her heart, she is, she is just a little girl that is really really really hurting.

13) 01-20-2011
Hi. DD said she is willing to give you yet one more try, to be a dad. And she said that she is going to pretend she's not mad at you so she can just funciton and just accept things as they are. And I'm going to support her through that. But you need to know that if my daughter sends me text messages that say I HATE IT HERE, I am going to pick her up. And I don't want her to have any contact with Diana. If Diana talks to her at that point she is breaking the law because the police told her not to. So while DD is there, I don't know where Diana is going to go, I don't know what Diana is going to do but she's not going to have contact with my daughter, period. I am trying to think what else DD and I talked about... I... You said you were going to send me an e-mail, and it's been a week and you still haven't, that doesn't surprise me. Yeah, since you basically in words told me that you're not willing to do any of the driving you're going to have to figure out how to up the child support because this isn't working. Um, I am constantly having to call off work, be late for work, or not go to work at all because of things that I have to do for DD because I don't have anyone else to help me do them. So if you want to do it on your own, you can, if you want the court to figure out a number for income lost, you can. Also, anything I have to do for child care, while I'm at work, because you're not willing to watch her, you have to split half of whatever it costs me. I'll have to figure out something, so that um, I can like send an invoice or a bill or something, because for a 14-year-old child care consists of getting a ride someplace, to be someplace where she needs to be, because she has rehearsal, or school event, or something. Um, I'm not going to ask you to pay for half of a trip to take her to her boyfriend's house, but every time Bob C has to stop working to do something for YOUR DAUGHTER, um, YES, you have to pay for half of that because that's child care and I know you don't want to admit it but (end of message)

15) 02-04-2011
I wanted to ask you about tomorrow. And um, I already know you're not going to do it but I thought I would ask anyway. I feel very uncomfortable being in the same room with Diana. And I know that DD would probably be pissed off if Diana showed up tomorrow. And I'm asking you for her sake, and actually for mine, and a little bit for your own, if you would please come to Contest by yourself and not bring Diana. I want this whole experience to be positive, I don't want DD to be nervous about wanting to what might happen. You and I can tell her, oh everything will be fine, but it won't calm the anxiety of a little girl who is worried about performing to her level best, but worried about her mom and really, being angry at your girlfriend. And those are all emotions that will be avoided if you please consider what I'm asking. I have been anxious about this for two weeks. And um, about ready to POP because I'm so anxious about it and I just want to go and enjoy watching my daughter play the french horn. Please call me back.

16) 04-06-2011
Hi. DD has her oral surgen appt today so give her a call. I have to figure out how to get her most recent xrays over there. I forgot they (uninteligible) over there, and that's going to be not easy. It's not as hard as pulling teeth, okay, because her input. Okay, anyway, get those xrays, get them over to her appointment at 3, if you want to hear what her oral surgeon has to say, it is at 306 you get off the exit you turn right, and it says Medical building immediately after you make a right across the entrance. The guy is Dr. Mascaro and he's in the building on the right, yeah, no, i can't remember because I've been in there half a dozen times and I still can't remember. So. But you'll find it. If you go building letter B, you know, Dr. Mascaro, 3 o'clock, DD, okay.

17) 04-06-2011
Um, please what's happening with dental insurance. What's going to happen with the fact that we need to have half down that day in order for her to have [dental] procedure. Um, this um would be a lot easier if all the insurance is worked out way ahead of time so that there is no surprises. I don't have that kind of cash, I'm going to have to put it on my credit card whether it's $5 or $500. And okay, I'm a fool and an idiot for telling you this because you probably, I don't know, don't deserve for me to do this, but I'm going to do it anyway, and I have to tell you, and Bob C took everything that's been going on to a lawyer and there is no statue of limitations when it comes to us being, um, I can't think of the word when you can't follow a court order, contempt. Contempt of court. And, um, if you look carefully at our divorce agreement, it's very clearly stated that you're supposed to be responsible for my medical insurance also, i don't know what page it's on but it's very clear that it's there. It says until YOU get remarried. That number, John, comes to THOUSANDS of dollars, that you would be held in contempt to repay me. And Bob C is just like, in his mind, I'm owed that. For me, if any of that ever happened, I would just put it in DD's savings account. It's not my money, it's DD's money. Ultimately, EVERYTHING you and I earn, ultimately should benefit DD. And if that comes down, I promise you that that's where the money would go. But I don't want to see that happen. Because I don't have the energy to deal with that much negativity. He wants me to do it. The lawyers are all fired up because they want their chunk of change, I can't do it. You can't afford it. You'd have to go to your dad or get a loan. Because the court does not care if you have the money or (end of message)

18) 04-16-2011
Diana and my husband Bob C get fired up because they want to take care of us. And I understand that. And I know you understand that too. And on some level, even though Diana is a nut, she understands that as well. And I just, I can't, I can't do this. I can't. I know I have every legal right to do it, and I'm entitled to a whole crap load of money, and I can't do it. I can't. If you have any interest in working this out, just you and me, I need you to call me. Don't put it in writing. Because anything you put in writing, it can be used in court. You call me. You don't tell anyone else what's going on, I don't tell Bob C what's going on, and we work it out. We can sit down, calmly, and look at our divorce agreement, and figure out, by ourselves, no lawyers, no court, no outside people, figure out reasonably, where things have gone wrong, where things can be improved, we've got six seven more years, and then DD will be gone and on her own. We've got college to figure out, we've got driving and insurance and medical and we don't have time to sit and fart around in a courtroom spending money we don't have in order to produce a butload of negativity and stress. I am working 40 hours a week every week for free in a dr.'s office. I am still working cleaning houses. I am still teaching 30 students. I have no sleeping time. I am taking three classes in order to finish this up by September. I can't physically do more than I'm doing. And emotionally, this is already taken a toll beyond what I can sanely manage because I can't handle this kind of stress. Please I am begging you, for us, to please handle this, in a calm way that involves nobody else except you and I taking care of our daughter. And I think, I don't know, that's all I got.

20) 08-28-2011
The conversation, the conversation needs to be had, whether in person, or by telephone. You don't text something about your child's health. Because we all saw what happened when we tried to do that about her wisdom teeth. And I'm not going there again. And I'm not being accused of keeping information, or changing information, or "What's the dollar amount"? You want to know, you answer the phone. This is about your daughter. This isn't about some cute little game you're playing so you can be in charge or you can be in control. Just answer the phone. If you don't answer the phone, it means you don't care and I don't need to answer. And this is exactly what I knew would happen because you love the game and I'm not playing.

21) 08/28/2011
You may have asked me a simple question, but it isn't a one-word answer. It's a converstation. It doesn't warrant three sentences that I can throw in a text. It's about your daughters health so just call me.

22) 09/14/2011
DD's phone is broken. I'm going to take her to verizon. I'm going to put her on my account. I need you to call them and cancel her off of your account, or give DD the password so she has permission to do it. you can just text it to her. I don't want her to have to get a new phone number. I want her to keep the same number for her sake. We can't do any of it without your permission. So text me so yuo got this message. It will save you money and it will save me the aggravation of worrying about you handling her phone problems in a short amount of time like I need. She can't be without a phone and the thing is barely working and just, it's, it barely works, and you should take care of that or I will have Verizon call you personally for the password to get this taken care of.

23) 09/27/2011
OK I just went and talked to the probate court. And we have a major problem. In order to help DD get her driver - well not help her, in order for DD to EVER get a driver's license, she has to have a legal name change to take my maiden name Jones off and keep Smith only. So I need your cooperation, so call me back.

24) 09/27/2011
If you ignore me that this is magically going to go away, you HAVE to be actively involved with this, IT ISN'T AN OPTION. it isn't a choice. IF YOU DON'T SIGN EVERYTHING AND FILL IT OUT CORRECTLY YOU WILL GET A SUMMONS TO APPEAR IN COURT. Do you want to do that? Or do you just want to call me back and discuss what has to happen? Because it isn't about me, it isn't about you, it's about DD.

25) 09/28/2011
Don't erase this message. Because I don't think you hear what I'm saying all the way, and you might want to listen a couple more times rather than assuming you understand but first listen. DD has been using the wrong name all along. When I went to the SS office 12 years ago to change her social security name to DD Smith. The lady told me I could never have done that without the proper justification, she's not sure why they let me do it, but they shouldn't have because her birth certificate should have been amended for me to use DD Smith for her SS name as well. It's true you could change it but that has nothing to do with her legal name. I could put Joe Febeach on her SS card, but the problem is this: Her legal name is printed on the birth certificate. Her birth certificate says DD Ann Jones-Smith. Everything we have ever put her name on, should have said that. Her school records are wrong. Her medical records are wrong. Her communion is wrong. Everything that has her name on it needs to be changed because I never realized why all of this stuff is so important until I got into the medical field, and now it's become evident and in our face. By the way, even though she took the test yesterday and she passed, she can't use her license now, because the BMV guy from town where she had her picture taken said that Columbus contacted him today and said it's invalid. I don't know what happened, but the process started all over again. I missed an entire day of work yesterday because working on it from nine o'clock to five o'clock gave me a migraine. I missed work. Now I found out that whatever I did yesterday was good for nothing because they took her drivers license / temporary tag away from her again. So (end of message)

26) 09/28/2011
Um, DD wants me to take her today after I pick her up from school and take it to get it fixed. If I do that, I will miss the make-up lessons that I missed from yesterday taking care of all of this. I can't afford to do that. (crying) IT'S NOT FAIR THAT I AM THE ONLY PERSON THAT EVER HAS TO DEAL WITH THIS STUFF. THIS IS JUST AS MUCH YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS IT IS MINE. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO IS THE CUSTODIAL PARENT. All THAT determines is where she hangs her hat at night. It doesn't make you LESS of a parent. It doesn't OBSOLVE you of responsibility. You're not LESS of her dad because she doesn't SLEEP at your house. Why you think that it's okay to continually drop ALL OF THIS ON MY LAP 24/7 IS JUST PROOF THAT YOU ARE SO IRRESPONSIBILE AS A DAD I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. These kinds of stuff should not be 100% MY responsibility! Do you think that after my ex-husband got to claim the other kids as his custodial responsibility that I was able to just walk away? I was not one ounce less of a parent because the address on their school records said Wakeman Rd. I never once shirked one ounce of responsibility because HE got to claim responsibility of where the kids got to sleep at night. And even that got ignored. (hysterical) THIS IS NOT RIGHT. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THIS. IT'S NOT RIGHT. IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR DD, IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR ME, THE ONLY PERSON THAT'S RIGHT FOR IS YOU AND IT'S WRONG, IT'S WRONG, AND I'M TIRED OF IT, I'M TIRED OF IT, IT'S TOO HARD.

27) 09/29/2011
Hi. I'm confused. Um, what insurance are you using to cover the gap between the insurance you provided now, and the insurance you provide in the future? If you want to use the divorce agreement 100% as written that's fine, but you have to understand that you have been responsible for my insurance since the day we got divorced. It didn't really apply until um, because I was using Medicaid, but um, I can't say that the pie in this thing, but i was always able to cover the fact that you weren't able to cover me like you were suppsoed to. But at this point and the fact because Bob C is self- employed, it's really important that you understand that you still are responsible for carrying my insurance so I need to know what that insurance is and you need to make sure you add my name to it. Because that's what the divorce agreement says. DD is having a panic attack as we speak, she's pretty much hysterical because she's afraid you are coming to get her. She's afraid and she made me promise that I won't let you take her. And you are putting me in a very very probable place because if I do what YOU want, um, you're going to you know, threaten to throw me in jail because I'm not using the divorce agreement. If I do what DD wants and keep you away from her, then she feels safe. If I tell her that she has to go with you because that's what you are demanding, she screams that she hates you, she wants you 100% out of her life, and I feel like I am the worst mother in the world (end of message)

28) 09/30/2011
If I um, if I do what DD wants I get in trouble. If I do what you want, I subject my daughter to a situation that is extremely unhealthy. It is 100% against what she wants. It is creating stress and anxiety that creates panic attacks that are for no other reason other than she cannot stand what you're doing to her. And three days ago, before you decided to tell us that you were coming to get her, everything was great. Since you started texting me and making demands, all hell has broken loose. She didn't sleep last night. She didn't go to school because she's sick. She's sick because she's stressed. She's stressed because you're trying to force yourself on her. You're not listening to what SHE wants. You're not listening to what SHE says. You don't care what she wants. You don't care that she's sick of it. You don't care that she's sick from it. You don't care that she's having an anxiety attack. You don't care that I couldn't take her to the doctor because you didn't have insurance. Because you don't care to take care of it. The Clinic will not schedule an appointment unless they either have approval from the financial department that I'm allowed to cancel or to schedule an appointment as self-pay, or have insurance policy attached to her apopintment, other than that she can't be seen. And you know as well as I do that mission care doctors are not the quality care doctors that Clinic doctors are. And I'm not a doctor. I can't look at you and say, she's okay, she's just tired and that's why she's sick and has a sore throat. That's not my call. That's the call of the doctors and that's what needed to be done today but I can't do it without your input and you refused. Do you not understand what's being forced on us at your hand, and you're okay with it? That's the most disgusting part of all. You're perfectly okay with traumatizing your daughter like this. And you think it's drama, you think it's cute, that you're doing this, and watching EVERYBODY get upset, and then you make everybody upset, and then you tell us, it's OUR FAULT for getting upset? You (end of message)

29) 10/12/2011
Look. This is how it works. The day I told you that I went to go get DD a new phone because I was tired of you playing games and controlling the situation by not fixing her phone, simply because you liked being in control, and yuo had no problem with the fact that her phone wasn't working, and you had TOTAL control over getting her a new phone and you just didn't want to. I was tired of it. I could not get in touch with my daughter. It doesn't bother you, because you don't have to worry about picking her up, driving her there, driving her there, it doesn't affect you at all but it affects me every day. And that's why you did it. Because you think it's FUN to sit and watch everybody squirm because you're in control. She got a new phone. She didn't want you to have the new number. I don't know why. That's not my problem. You have to take it up with her. But the bottom line is if she wanted to have A PHONE, FROM YOU, BY YOU, TO TALK TO YOU, then she deserves that. If you didn't want her to have the phone, AGAIN, WHY DID IT BECOME MY PROBLEM? EVERY DAY, MY PROBLEM. EVERY MINUTE, MY FAULT. YOUR PHONE, YOUR DAUGHTER, YOUR SERVICE, YOUR CONTRACT, YOUR PROBLEM. But you had to make it MY PROBLEM. And I was tired of it. I went and got her a phone. Why she didn't want you to have her number is NOT MY PROBLEM, it's YOURS. YOU take it up with DD. And I am sick and tired of HER accusing me of, well why are you arguing with Dad? And I finally said, I'm arguing with Dad, because YOU WON'T TELL HIM THAT YOU WANT A NEW PHONE. AND ONCE AGAIN CIRCE IS THE BAD GUY!! BECAUSE DD'S GOT A PROBLEM, AND YOU GOT A PROBLEM, AND I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE, AND I'M DONE WITH OF IT! JESUS WILL THE TWO OF YOU JUST STOP USING ME LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF RAG DOLL, I'M NOT YOUR PUNCHING BAG I AM A PERSON!

30) 10/12/2011
(hysterical) You know what, this is stupid. Just get in the car, I will meet you someplace, and the two of you, you and DD, you figure it out. I am tired of being in the middle. I'm tired of being everyone's punching bag. You take her, and YOU TWO figure it out. Because I'm sick and tired of being the bad guy. I'm just flipping trying to protect my daughter. This has nothing to do with you. You think this is all so personal. This isn't personal. This isn't about you. This isn't about some vendetta to get you. I want YOU to fix the problem with YOUR DAUGHTER the way to make MY DAUGHTER happy. That's all I want. That's all I ever wanted. I didn't want some drama. I didn't want some woman coming in and abusing my daughter. I didn't want any of that. I didn't have that before. Everything was fine. Now we've got this. Isn't this fun? Isn't this great? All why? Because you and Diana had to decide that you wanted DD to conform into some family life that she didn't want. And your'e just going to force it down her throat. Because that's what YOU people wanted but that's not what DD wanted. That's not what I wanted. And who is to blame? Circe. WHAT? That has nothing to do and doesn't even make sense. And so I'm sick and I'm stuck and I'm trying to not get dragged into court as soon as I try to protect my daughter, if I don't, then MY GOD then she's got to go into counseling because Mom's not listening and Mom's going to betray her and MAKE her go see her dad. And her dad says well Circe you're doing THIS wrong so let's drag you into court and MAKE you do what I want you to do and DD says well I'm not going to do that I don't want to do any of that. And so do you not see the insanity? Are you having a blast, making sure that everyone is having a ball taking it out on the only person that is looking at everybody saying HOW BOUT IF WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? No, but THAT's the person who we drive to tears, that's the person we gotta drag into court, that's the person that we have to blame? WHY? WHY? BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, SHE'S NOT GETTING WHAT SHE WANTS, DOES ANYBODY GIVE A SHIT WHAT CIRCE WANTS? No, let's just beat Circe up because that's fun, and then Circe has to be accountable for the things that they're doing, and let's just make everything Circe's fault, including Diana. Somehow, the fact that DD hates Diana is let me think: oh yeah, Circe's FAULT. And the fact that you and your dad aren't getting along? Circe'S FAULT. And Grandma disowns you. Circe'S FAULT. Come on. Am I really that powerful? I have the ability to do that much, I'm that power (end of message)

31) 10-20-2011
(Regarding this midnight message from Circe's then-husband Bob C to Diana: "I hate to call so late but I am trying to reach John. He needs to give DD a call because she's very emotional about one of her friends or somebody that she knew, and she just found out from school that they committed suicide and she's very shook up about it and this would be a really good opportunity for her dad to give her a call and talk to her and support her. I left a message and was just trying to get ahold of him. Have him give DD a call. Thank you." This was a lie, there was no suicide, and DD had no idea that Bob C had made this call.)
John, I don't know what to say in this message either. I just asked Bob C to call you because I was sitting the kitchen. Um, DD, I, DD was, I just very very very sad. She wanted to understand why you and I can't get along. I thought more than anything she just needed you to tell her that you love her. And to just tell her that everything was going to be okay. And to just reassure her that you love her and to just reassure her because that's what she wants. She just wants reassured. I don't know what Bob C said. I don't know what he said on Diana's message. All I know is that he's concerned because DD's so upset and he probably just made assumptions according to the information that he had heard throughout the night. He wasn't trying to create a problem. He just wanted you to know that your daughter needed to be told that you love her. And anything else that can be contrived from what just happened is totally unnecessary. DD just wanted to hear "I love you" from her father. Because nothing I could say was reassuring her that you love her, no matter what I said, it didn't matter what I said. She just wanted to hear it from you. And then I just, that was my attempt to ask you to help her. And it, now, she's upset with me because I can't do anything to make it right. And I don't know, just maybe next time rather than going into the whole court thing, just tell her you love her. Just say I love you, and it'll be okay, that's all she wants to hear. That's it.

32) Nov 14, 2011 (After court. The judge ordered John and Circe to "work something out for Thanksgiving". They agreed that John could have parenting time with DD at his mothers house Thanksgiving weekend. After court, Circe had other ideas...)
OK I'm assuming that if you want to follow the agreement exactly, that means you want to communicate with me by phone all of the details of what is happening. You have Wednesday from 6 - 9 and then also you have um, Friday from 6 until Sunday at noon? I guess. And um, you know the judge says you have to take her over to your moms, and um I just need to know, um, you know make sure that you are going to actually show up. DD hasn't has not had you call and say come get her, because you never came and got her, and again I don't know how that affects me or makes that my fault and so now you have to um, you know come and get her at 6 bring her back at 9 on Wednesdays, 6 on Fridays and bring her back at noon on Sundays, and saturday you know she's got rehearsal, you have to get her there around 1 is when she likes to be there. And um, she's done at 5:30. You have to give her money for snacks while she is there and afterwards she is always immediately really hungry and tired from her and she needs food immediately afterward so she doesn't get headaches because when her schedule gets off she gets headaches. Also i think she is ready to pick up her perscriptions. She is not taking one hormone any longer because we're going to try to control her anxiety with (uninteligible) and i think this weekend is the weekend her medicine needs picked up at rite aid. If you have questions or concerns you should call my cell phone. Right now I have a problem with a home phone which should be working by the end of the week but those are the two ways to contact me but um (end of message)

33) Nov 14, 2011
Um otherwise I think that I I I personally don't see once this is all in place what else there is to decide other than the things that I am um addressing which is you not holding up your end of the financial bargain. This is everything she wanted. She wanted to hang out with you but she just wanted to do it someplace she was safe. She wanted you to go to your moms so she doesn't have to be around Diana. The judge is comfortable with it I'm comfortable with it and DD was comfortable with it and it sounds like you realize that it was your choice not to come out and get DD and that it wasn't anybody elses fault because you didn't come get her so to me it's things have cleared up. I don't know why you would continue to persue this to the point where we have to take it to court and pay all those expenses but if you are comfortable with what you have got in court today i say we go into mediation and have it written up and both of us sign it and life just goes on from there for the next two years until DD turns 18. I think that ultimately you have the most to gain by doing this way, if it goes into court and if they hear DD's testimony you really stand the risk of not even having that and i don't want that and I don't think DD wants that. Nobody wants that. She wants to see you, she just wants to do it in a happy face environment and i will expect that from her as well. In my opinion this problem is solved there is nothing to argue about. I didn't understand at all (end of message)

34) Nov 15 2011
You need to call and confirm that you are in fact coming for each visitation. DD and I are not going to sit around and wait and expect you to show up and then not show up. You have missed every wednesday for the last year and a half, you haven't shown up for any of the weekends you wanted to have her, so i'm not going to sit and expect you to show up and then not show up. So if you don't confirm we will assume you are not showing up and we will go about our business so lets make that very clear. Just because you're supposed to be here doesn't mean we're going to sit and wait for when you don't show up. (end of message)

35) Nov 16 2011
Just keep hearing me, John. It's not going to stop me from trying. I don't really care what the judge thinks about my willingness to keep trying. Nothing I say or do is for the benefit of what happens in court. What I say is for the benefit for my daughter. And I have no idea why, but what I say is for your benefit too. You are not going to be happy 10 years from now with missing out on seeing your daughter. And I am telling you from my heart you have got to make some concessions in order for her to ever even speak to you again. I have told her that you are coming out tonight at six. She was angry but she was um, I could tell she was happy that she was going to see you. She wants you to know how much you have hurt her but she is still willing to try and for whatever stupid reason and I have no idea I am still willing to try too. I don't know why, I can't even speak to what is going on it's beyond my comprehension. I am not an axe murderer. I am not a drug user. I don't do anything except live for my kids. How this has got warped into me being the bad guy because you made your daughter mad, I don't know what you expected me to do to make it right. I guarantee that if you were put in my position you would not know the magic potion for making this right either. I am not doing what you keep accusing me of doing. I am not interfering the way you think I am interfering. I am supporting my daughter because she feels that EVERYONE is against her, including the court system, including you. She doesn't understand. She understands it like a 15-year-old understands (end of message)

36) Nov 19 2011
Um, John, I um, I don't know what there is to say at this point. Um, DD is very nervous but um, but she is thinking positively about seeing you knowing that you told her Diana won't be there. But i'm kind of the same way, cautious and happy that she is cautious, well i'm not happy she is cautious but you know what I mean. She has that concert tomorrow and I'm assuming you will be there and she has a solo. I don't know what to say about visitation. Um it is you keep referring to the visitation agreement and ohio's code but you're not following it so I I don't know what you are expecting of me. You need to tell me what you are expecting of me. You tell me to follow it but it's not being followed by anybody so I don't. Just telling me to follow it is not being specific enough because your'e not following it either so I don't know what you want. You can't you can't criticize me for not doing something that you're not being specific about because if you want me to follow the code but you're not following it either I don't know how to address that because it's totally illogical. So um problem with e-mails is neither one of us are being specific enough in terms of what we are expecting or maybe i'm being too specific or maybe here's the bottom line. The e-mail and the text thing isn't working. Which is why i have been requesting you to specifically talk to me. Communication only applies when there is an actual agreement going on and there is no agree (end of message)

37) Nov 20 2011
Um, okay this is the problem with two things: one, she meaning the judge did not say Thanksgiving weekend. She said Thanksgiving weekend. She said Thanksgiving. And my assumption was Thanksgiving DAY ONLY. I did not know you were going to insist that you would tell DD this weekend instead of last weekend. I don't know why it made a difference. But this sunday DD and I are going to take her brother back to college and I don't understand why you insisted THIS weekend when I offered you last weekend to start your visitation rotation. Honestly you made it sound like you didn't even want to see DD in your e-mail until that February hearing. So all of a sudden you change your mind you want to do this weekend thing, and you arbitrarily pick next weekend, meaning this weekend, to be the weekend you have DD. You never asked if it was okay, you just announced it. I told you NO, this weekend is better. I did not remember why the weekend of the 25th was the weekend I would have preferred having DD because sometimes it happens it happens to you too, where there's a date, you dont' know why it's sticking in your head but something is up and you know it's a bad weekend and you don't remember specifically what. Well, today I talked to my ex-husband and I remembered that this is the weekend that I'm taking her brother back to college and DD was coming with me and it would... it would not make any sense for her and I except to leave extremely early with her and Danny, and take him up there, it's a 5 1/2 hour drive, go up there, visit, take him to lunch, walk around campus, so DD can expect to be on a college campus, and then turn around and come back and have enough time to get her to bed and get her to school the next day without her being exhausted. That's why I did not want you to take her for the weekend, this weekend, coming up, that's confusing especially since the judge said Thanksgiving DAY not Thanksgiving weekend, unless I just heard wrong. And um, I'm just ... either way, here's the bottom line (end of message)

38) Nov 20 2011
The other thing is this, and this applies to this visitation and every visitation, I drove DD every single place she is needed to go for the last SEVEN MONTHS STRAIGHT. Here is a perfect example, I went through half a tank of gas driving to and from Cleveland, twice, then driving DD's friend that came to the concert back to where she lives and then back home. Half a tank of gas. That's 30 bucks. It's not just the money, it's the time. You do not have to purchase a tank at all. I'm not driving DD out to see you, I'm not picking DD up after the visits over, you will be doing the driving and that's me putting my foot down. I have not gotten a single thing that I have asked for, for years, John. Not a single thing. You have made zero concessions on my account now, none, zip. You have made zero effort and the fact that you did not make DD's concert today because you had to work is disgusting. And even she said it, she's like Oh he can get a sub for whatever he wants but he can't get a sub to see his daughter. Like you didn't know this was coming up. What's wrong with you. I'm not driving, period. You wanna see DD you come get her. She has school the next day if she doesn't get to school it's your fault and it's not my problem. Now I'm asking you to let me take DD to drop her brother off at college. And if you don't you need to understand that I'll be in New York and I'm not coming to Cleveland to come and get her. It's your responsibility. You do some driving and you do some sacrificing and you do some chores and some effort and some things that remotely look like you give a crap and then we'll figure out what to do from there. (end of message)

39) Nov 21 2011 (after speaking with her attorney)
Hi John it's Circe. I realize that under the standard agreement I realize that I can't ask you to let DD come with me to take her brother to college on Sunday so um, just whenever you are done with your visit bring her back. I understand that under the agreement that we share the driving but for the last 13 years we haven't done it that way. Once that happens that becomes the norm that becomes what is standard if you will. And um, so I am 100% confident in stating that you have always driven her and picked her up and brought her back for visitation when you executed your right to visit her and so we're just going to continue that and keep that practice going and I think it's reasonable and I don't think I am in any way harming DD and it's in no way intended to be um, some type of payback. It's just this is how we've always done it and it's respectful of both of our time, especially in this situation where I will be in NY taking my son back to college. And, um, there it is. (end of message)

40) Nov 22 2011 I just um, I wanted you to know I got your letters and um, as soon as I am done reviewing it with my attorney I will um, send you a response. I just wanted you to know that you knew that I did get a letter and that I am going to respond and I think that um, I think that far as I am concerned this is all going to work out just fine. (end of message)

41) Dec 03 2011
Um, okay, I there is no hurry with the reply, the only thing is that this week coming up we'll just have to decide what to do with DD. I personally have no problem trying to let DD try to go to your apartment with Diana being there. I think that DD is willing to try that as well only because everyone is ready to move on. And I'm willing to sign something that we write up professionally, legally, so we get everything contractual and in writing and I think if anything I think we should try it even if it does go to court because it would be a way of proving to the judge that we're BOTH trying to make corrections, and make adjustments and make concessions about the visitation, even though um, you know things have gone bad in the past, I guess trying to make amends and trying to fix things is the right thing to do. And um, the only I don't know, John just write me a letter, tell me exactly what it is you feel that went wrong, because I can't fix what I don't understand. And it's very obvious that you and I have two completely different interpretations about what has happened over the last year. And more than anything everybody on this side of the table is confused as to what it is you're suing me for. Because we simply don't understand and I know you're thinking, well it's so obvious, and on our side we're thinking the same thing, it's so obvious. To us, (end of message)

42) Dec 06 2011
And um, I don't um, I don't care if it's 4 o'clock, I just wanted to know exactly how picky we're both going to be with everything, because you know, 4 isn't the time it's stated in the agreement and I don't know if you had something you were planning on doing with DD, and that's why you wanted it to be 4 oclock, just let me know what's going on and why, and we'll talk about it. (end of message)

43) Dec 06 2011
I pretty much meant that when I said I'm not going to have a conversation via text messaging or e-mailing or any other form of communication other than speaking to you. I'm not going to sit and discuss the weather or politics or religion. The only purpose i would ever have for calling you would be to discuss DD. If you don't feel it's important enough to call me back there's nothing I can do about that. I'm still confused about the 4 o'clock. The agreement says 6 and I don't know where you got 5 o'clock and I don't know why all of a sudden now it's four. Um if you are trying to account for driving time and then 5 o'clock from your house and then 5 o'clock on Sunday or whatever, that's no driving is included, all of that is included you can pick her up at 6 and then drive her to PA whatever you do with your time is your time. I don't know how exactly specific you want to be it looks like you want to be following the agreement to a T so let's start following the agreement to a T. Which also brings into account Wednesdays, obviously her brothers and sister aren't around on Wednesdays anymore, so um, you know, ah, you could go back to the Monday or Tuesday like you used to do, you can do Wednesday if it works out for you, you could do Thursday or something, again it's your choice. I don't really have a preference about the weekday I don't think DD does either, and that was truthfully that's the only person I really cared about pleasing under the arrangement of the Wednesday night thing that we did for a few months. The only preference there was just that she wanted time with her with her brother and sister and then she wanted time with just her brother cause they were looking to go to college. And if you absolutely hated (end of message)

44) Dec 06 2011
... totally hated the arrangement of Wednesdays not coming out to take her to dinner and spend time with her. You never made that known to me. DD is telling me that you are telling her that I said absolutely not, that I requested that you leave Wednesday to her to spend time with her siblings. I never stood in the driveway and you know, held a shotgun to your car tires telling you to get off my property. It's just ridiculous that she thinks that I wouldn't allow her to see you on a Wednesday. I just asked if you could make it a different day. You chose not to. I don't know what else to say in order to address that because here I am, talking to myself on a cell phone answering machine, instead of in person, with the person that I am supposed to be communicate with like the judge told us to. Um. No we're not going to the lawyers in terms of this bantering back and forth. That costs money. You and I will agree to something using the call a rational person as a mediator if necessary, but i'm not wasting any more money using a lawyer to accomplish something with which, especially in your case, he knows nothing about the situation, he knows nothign about me, he knows nothing about you and he most certainly knows nothing about DD. That is not the person I'm going to put the future of my daughter in their hands. Forget it. No. We decide, we write it down, and we sign it, like, oh yeah, like our Divorce Agreement. (end of message)

45) Dec 06 2011
Sorry I got cut off. I'm having coughing fits from this cold and I didn't think you felt like hearing that on the end so I ended that last message quickly. DD hasn't seen her sister in five months. She hasn't seen her brother in over seven months. She asked me if she was allowed to be home when they walked in the door on Saturday. Um. Because I'm going to have like a banner and a cake or something, because I really think it would be really valuable to her sister especially. Um, and I think DD wants to be there. I'm not saying she has to come home and stay home, but I am asking if after CYO if she would be allowed to come out and see her siblings, I think it's a reasonable request considering the circumstances and seeing as how you got off the hook and didn't have to do an ounce of driving for almost a year, I think it wouldn't hurt to have you WALK IN MY SHOES for a little bit and know what it is like to be the person to have to do 100% of the transporting under every circumstance practically. It might be an eye opener for you. in terms of the agreement getting back to that topic, you can go ahead and write down specifics that you would bring to the table and think carefully about them and I would do the same. At this point on this Friday, because we have not come to a meeting of the minds, and that has not been concession or compensation, it does not appear you will have enough time to get thigns together in order to take DD to your house this weekend. So this weekend we'll stand to going to your mom's without Diana and when we finally do get it in writing and approved by the court then we will start implementing whatever we decide. Um, but not until that happens because I simply can't trust that you will hold up your end of the bargain and you may want to start taking DD to Diana's house (end of message)

46) Dec 14 2011
John, my attorney is not going to um, sit with your lawyer without direct input from you and I. He is not going to just sit and spend hours hashing out what it's going to take in order to get this what it's going to make it work. It's going to be basically you and I, come to our agreement, just like when we had our divorce, you and I worked out what we want, what is legally expected of each other, then we'll sit down and discuss it with the lawyers. It does not make any sense to waste their time until we tell them what we come up with. And I don't know about you but I don't have I'm already spent $1,000 because of this and I simply do not have the want to spend any more on this ridiculousness because this all could have been settled outside of court and the fact that it didn't is just wrong. But my point is that when you start showing SOME INITIATIVE AND START PAYING ME like I don't know $200-$300 PER MONTH toward the debt that you have accumulated that you are responsible for that you have ignored, once you do that and start giving me good faith and start to demonstrate that you truly are interested in moving forward then we can talk. Because until that happens it seems to me that you only want what you want and at that point there is no benefit to me moving forward to do anything except what is legally my responsibility, um (end of message)

47) Dec 14 2011
We can keep it where you have to be someplace other than your house, you know, indefinitely, if you want. But I don't think that's what you want. But at that point, MY responsibility is fulfilled. At this point, I have what I want. I want DD to visit with you and I want DD to be comfortable. But the real issue is what I want you to do what the divorce agreement says, and fulfill your responsibility for that as well. There isn't a judge on the planet that is going to agree with that. I'm confused as to why you don't understand. I'm confused why you're not addressing all of this, you don't even talk about it except to say you're not going to pay any additional money. That's not going to fly. you know, that's out of my hands and I can't do anything about that. So when you want to talk to me and you want to work this out, that's fine. But other than that, um, I'm concerned about your mom, and DD being there, she doesn't like being there, so that's something else you need to address. So whenever you get around to it, call me. (end of message)

48) Dec 19 2011
Ah, your week for Christmas vacation as you know from the divorce agreement, was this week. And um, the ah, the agreement states that the last day of her school day is that you will pick her up at 6 and um, bring her home on Christmas Eve at 6. And um, you didn't do that, and yuo didn't call to tell me why you didn't do that, you just didn't show up. And so, you lost your week for you for Christmas. And um, I don't know why you did that, um, that's just really going to look horrible in court but that was your decision. You wanted to know what you owe me, and I have already sent you every receipt that you needed and a few you never asked for, um, about you know, DD's, your 75% out of pocket medical expenses, and 50% of her school fees that you never paid, um, that's just the beginning, for five years, I think five years is as far as the judge will go back retroactive for what you owe for my medical expenses, so that's like I told you, that's going to be somewhere between $8,000 and $10,000 and you can start paying that anytime. Because that's what the divorce agreement says, the one that you want to stick to. And um, also, if you're going to start to see DD again, you'll have to let me know, because at this point I'm assuming you're just relinquishing your rights to visit her when you're supposed to because you haven't followed the agreement since we left the courtroom. You haven't followed the agreement since we got divorced. You're going to have to communicate with me what you want. Because as of this point, there is no agreement as far as I'm concerned because we can't agree on, you know, expecting you to just walk in the door at the right time and drop her off at the right time, you can't do it, obviously you haven't been able to yet. You haven't done it, not even once. The other thing is, um, if you turn the phone off, you're just really just totally shooting yourself in the foot (end of message).

49) Dec 19 2011
The other thing is, you know, I um, if you turn your phone off for no reason, just to prove some kind of unknown point to accomplish some type of unknown goal, then what you've done is what you're basically taken away your ability to know what's happening with your daughter, and um, her attitude is if you're going to turn off the phone so her own mother can't talk to her own father, then she really doesn't have any interest in talking to you either. In other words, that channel, assuming you'll just contact me through DD somehow, is 100% exactly what the judge told us we're not allowed to do. So I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish other than sabotaging your ability to see your daughter, because in the last three weeks, you've pretty much sealed your fate. And if what you're trying to accomplish is not to see DD, then you've done everything right. Because you can't take her someplace where there is um, somebody is unstable emotionally and physically ill without my permission but you never told me your mom is in that state, so strike one. And you don't show up on time and you don't drop her off on time, strike two. You don't show up at all, and you don't tell me why, strike three. You shut your phone off, strike four. I mean John, what are you doing? I mean, you're just sealing your fate so that you will never get to see DD at all. But guess what, you'll still owe me what you owe me retroactively when you did have visitation. So I'm baffled. All I know is that DD is back to being totally stressed because you're back to being, whatever, I don't even know what to call it. But you're going to stop it. Because you're dragging DD through hell and it's going to stop now.

50) Dec 22 2011
I just talked to my lawyer. He hasn't gotten anything from your lawyer. He doesn't anticipate getting anything from your lawyer. His advice to me was to try my very best to get you to sit down in a Denny's restaurant with me over a cup of coffee and settle this. He said it's costing money. He would love to take it to court and clear my name of contempt charges, because it's a matter of my own personal sense of right and wrong, but I don't care about the winning, I care about the completion of this BS. I asked you three times for mediation. And you said one time, you agreed with me. And I responded by saying I agree. So I guess technically that's four times. I don't care who comes to the meeting. If you have to bring, you know, your girlfriend, that's fine. I don't really care. I don't think that will be productive. But I know that she's not going to let you leave the house without her. So that's fine. I don't care. I just want this done. I can't take it anymore. It's Christmas. I am five days away from having to bury my mother in law. I can't, I can't handle this because I shouldn't have to handle this because technically we're both wrong. How's that. There you go. You want to win? We're both wrong. We're both wrong. Who's MORE wrong? It's completely irrelevant. I asked Neil what are the chances of this all, um, how BAD is this going to get in court? He said, Circe, it's not going to be that bad because there is nothing that bad wrong here. It's going to be basically the judge looking at both of us and saying cut this crap out. She's not there to be your babysitter. Um, I'm like am I going to get some big fine am I going to go to jail and he's like oh my God no. He's like, drug addicts go to jail. Crack heads go to jail. Pimps, whores go to jail. He's like, this is back to this point because you've got two people who can't communicate. The judge is going to look at us and say what the hell is wrong with you two people, you're adults and you're parents and you better communicate. So I have a good idea John, why don't we try communicating. Let's try that route first. You wanted to see DD on Christmas Eve, I'm not a mind reader. What the heck did you turn (end of message)

51) Dec 22 2011
You didn't pick her up when you're supposed to for your visitation. You had the opportunity to see her for eight days. You opted not too. But you never bothered telling DD or I that. You just didn't show up. You wanted to see DD on Christmas Eve, you should have called me. That's called COMMUNICATING. Reading minds, I'm not that good at that okay, so that's not going to accomplish anything by not telling me what your intentions are. I'm hoping you would take her and see her cousins. Take her to Aunt Maxines. Take her out and go to see Christmas lights. Whatever. That's my hope. This business of if you don't do exactly what I want I'm going to write you nasty e-mails and I can't wait to take you to court in February and be prepared to go down or whatever your threat is for what you've got in mind for me, that's not my idea of a merry Christmas. So if you want this finished by Christmas, we have two more days. Am I willing to sit down and talk to you? You bet. Bring a pen and paper. Bring your ideas. Bring what you think is reasonable, offering pen and paper, offering what I think is reasonable. But understand something. We're going to do what the divorce says. You have gotten away with not doing what the divorce says since, I don't know, since we wrote it. We're not going to go that way anymore. I will make some consessions if I can, but that is going to be the guideline for what we decide. If we have two people witness our signatures, we send it off to our lawyers, we have it written up, we sent it to the court, if it's okay by the judge, then we move on. And I don't EVER want to hear the sound of your voice unless you are calling to say, I'm five minutes late, but I'm coming. Other than that, I want to pretend that you don't exist more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. And I know you want the same thing. So make this happen. I cannot, I don't know what you're expecting, I don't know what you're thinking, I don't even know what you're doing. Call me or text me. Pick a place. Pick a time. I work tomorrow until 4:30. I can do something after 4:30. I can do something on Christmas Eve. I can do something tonight as long as it doesn't cut into my hair appointment. Um, you know, figure it out. Call me up. Send me a text message. Let's get this done.

52) 01-05-2012
For DD at the Clinic, um, they told me again that her insurance is inactive. I also know the reason that they are making sure that the insurance is there is because um, they sent you to collections for not paying her bills in the past. And I know the name of the company that your collections is through. I need proof of insurance and not just your word. I need it faxed to my home, it's xxxxxxx. I need it faxed her because I your just telling me that it's active means nothing. Because every time you tell me that, I turn around and try to use it and they tell me that they can't. So, um, you just have to take care of this because there is no excuse for this. I shouldn't have to not be able to make an appointment for our daughter to see a doctor just because you can't figure out how to provide insurance for her.

53) 01-05-2012
Upstairs in my room, when I heard DD begin a conversation with you, she had it on speakerphone because she wanted her boyfriend Nate to hear it, because she didn't want to have to reiterate the whole conversation. And she wanted him to hear what she was saying, and she wanted him to hear what you were saying. I told DD that Bob C and I were going to Stow. I decided not to go because I had too many things to do around the house. And Bob C left, and DD thought that I had left too. Instead, what I ended up doing was sitting upstairs and basically pushing start and stop on my recorder on my telephone and recording a conversation between you and your daughter. It wasn't her fault, she didn't know I was still home, but I am pretty positive that DD is the only person that is right and you and I are 100% wrong and everything that we disagree on, has everything to do with perception and interpretation. I did not hear you say one thing that was not an over exaggeration. And I did not hear the two of you guys discuss one thing that was not relevant. It was all relevant. And to her it was true. To you it was true also, but what you and I share is true is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what DD thinks. And she is the only one that has the clearest picture of what is really going on. Um, she is done crying and I'm pretty comfortable saying that she would probably like it if you and I sat down and had a conversation. I have civic band tonight. I would be more than happy to miss it if you were willing to sit down and talk to me. And I think that the only thing that matters is what we're going to do moving forward. You and I could sit and talk indefinately about how YOU perceive (end of message)

54) 01-22-2012 (this voice mail was actually left on 1-21-2012 but was delayed getting to John's phone)
You made a smart move and fired your lawyer that's good. Um, I um, you don't have to ask permission to see DD. It's your scheduled weekend. All you need to do is show up. Um. Her COYO rehearsal is at CSU this weekend, it's on Sunday, she has to be there no later than five or ten minutes after two, because her rehearsal starts at 2:30. She has to be in G-15 and then she's in Wagan from 4 - 5:30. Um, it might even be 6:30. I can't remember. Either way, look up the reherasal schedule, it's online. I guess on the 1st, we're doing some sort of mediation prior to going into the courtroom for the hearing. Um, I am very prepared to do the hearing, if we can't agree to everything for mediation, prior to it, um, that's um, just it's very important you understand that after the 10th or the 11th of February, it's a Saturday, um every Saturday, DD has volunteering that she does at Lake East hospital. It can't be an every-weekend thing, it's every weekend, she has to be there at 8:30 in the mornign and she is done at 12:30. Um, this isn't up for discussion and you can't just opt out. If you don't want to bother taking her, after you pick her up Friday night and driving her back out to my house on Saturday morning and then drive her back out to COYO, I don't know, I guess you can just NOT take her Friday night, let me take her to her volunteering Saturday morning, and then let me take her to um, either take her to COYO or you pick her up from the volunteering and YOU take her to COYO, but that makes more sense than driving back and forth and back and forth um, and having you just sit around while she's volunteering for four hours. But it's four hours every Saturday morning, she's in Patient Transport, she's expected to be there, and um, this is important for furthering her education because she is going into nursing. (end of message)

55) 01-22-2012 (this voice mail was actually left on 1-21-2012 but was delayed getting to John's phone)
DD and I just got into a minor accident with her brand-new car. She is a mess and I don't blame her. She's at rehearsal because I made, I dropped her off and then I made the call to the police, and it's been an hour and a half and they haven't bothered showing up. And, there, I don't know what to do. I can't, the wheel is bent, so I'm losing air. So while I'm sitting for the police, I'm basically making the car more undrivable by the minute, by the time she's done with rehearsal, the wheel is going to be empty, and I'm, I'm by the time I can get this fixed, I don't even know how I'm going to get it home. If you get this message, and you can at 5:30 please pick her up and take her back home, she wants to go to Jake's house, I have no idea how long this is going to take, I can't, I don't, I can't just leave her in Cleveland without a ride, I don't have anybody else to help me, I don't know what to do. And I can't just leave her in Cleveland, I don't know what to do. (end of message)

56) 01-27-2012
Don't John, Bob C. read the e-mail to me, and he read all of the documentation that he got from my attorney, from your lawyer. You don't need conformation from me. It says in the case very clearly you needed confirmation from you, as in the lawyer, as in the person who is receiving the letter which was my attorney. The attorney asked me, do you agree that DD can go to John's, I said yes. He responded to your lawyer. That should get you If you don't like the way that's worded, that's not my problem, talk to your lawyer about it. But the way it's worded, that's not my problem, talk to your lawyer about it. But the way it's worded, it's really clearly stated that it is THE LAWYER will contact YOUR lawyer and say yes, Circe agrees to let DD go. Now, one minute you want ME to respond, the next minute you say NO, the lawyers are going to do it and now you want me to respond again. I'm telling you the way your lawyer wrote it, it says the confirmation is supposed to go TO HER, from my attorney. Why don't you get your story straight. And then I'll figure out what to do from there. But I'm not going to just run around doing stuff that I don't need to do. I already told you that she can go over there. I don't know why, I don't know what your problem is, I've done what you needed me to do. (end of message)

57) 01-27-2012 (From Bob C to Circe. Circe then forwarded this message to John)
(Bob)My attorney replied to all of that in his letter that he wrote back. In that letter he said that he wasn't going to be the middle man and John's attorney shouldn't either in finalizing weekend visitation arrangements. And, um, nothing had to be formally in writing because that's not the way the world functions, other than John at this point, which he never wanted to do before, um, but when you called to tell him that something came up and here's my resolution to it, he shouldn't be calling you and he shouldn't be calling DD, he got a letter saying no more text messages, no more calls on the cell phone. The attorney said just leave it as it is. Tell DD to stop responding, tell you to stop responding, he can call the house phone, I'm here, and as far as I'm concerned, he can come and pick her up but then he's got to get her back from school but if he doesn't, you can take her over. Um, so that's just the way it is, just ignore him. He doesn't need to call you or DD on the cell phone, he doesn't need to text DD on the cell phone. If he needs to review or confirm something he can call here at the house and I can speak for you, and my attorney covered that in the letter. (end of message)

58) 01-27-2012
You still haven't called me to make arrangements about anything. I'm nowhere near an e-mail or the ability to e-mail, I'm at work, and I clean houses. So I can't get to a computer by the time all this needs to be worked out. You can call back at home, you can call this cell phone this one time and talk to me about this. I have DD with me because she had a major crying anxiety attack in school today. And, she just lost it because she wants NOTHING to do with you and she's freaking out that she has to go to your house. So I had to pick her up from school but and she had to come to work with me because I didn't have time to take her home, I didn't want her by herself, she needed to be with her mom, so I just brought her to work with me. She has a dr appt this afternoon because she's going to need SOMETHING, so that she can just get through this weekend, so they're going to give us some kind of anxiety medicine prescription so that she can tolerate being with you. Um, I guess she has a project tomorrow that you have to bring her home for, you haven't made any of those arrangements either. Um, you just you're just, if it wasn't for my lawyer, I wouldn't even know that you wanted her this weekend, you haven't called you haven't done anything that you're supposed to do to work this out with me. You didn't tell me about the appointment with Dr. Carolyn, you just assume that DD is going to tell me all this things, you haven't even asked. You haven't even addressed it. You think that sending an e-mail to a person who doesn't sit at a computer every day is enough to work this out you're wrong. You need to call me. You need to figure out what's going on. You need to understand that your daughter is basically just walking around, messed up, just crying, because she's, um, that she doesn't care what happens to her. I think, I don't think you should be driving her, she doesn't want to be in that close of proximity with you, I think I should be the one to drive her to and from. She doesn't want to put me out like that because she knows that it's an inconvenience, but I'm willing to do that because I don't want her to have to be in the car with you. (end of message)

59) 02-01-2012
You choose to do anything postive about this or not, I have no control over that, but you do need to be aware of the fact that DD has been having panic attacks for the last two days, because she knows she has to see you tonight. And she has zero interest in going to see Dr. Carolyn with you. She feels like you've invaded her space, you've invaded her privacy, you've interfered where you were not asked to interfere. You didn't have any right to talk to Dr. Carolyn without DD's permission. Dr. Carolyn had no right to talk to you without DD's permission. You had no right to invade on her space where she felt safe and she doesn't feel comfortable to talk to her anymore. Because she fears that she'll just turn around and tell you everything what DD says and that's not what counseling is for. Counseling is not so that you can go in and persuade DD's consellor that you're a good dad. Like you do on your ridiculous facebook messages that everybody tells me about that I don't have the stomach to go see. But the bottom line is, that she has zero interest in going tomorrow. She has less than zero interest in seeing you tonight. I can't stop you from picking her up. You pull in the driveway, it's my job to open the door so she can walk out and get in your car. I can't change or influence what happens when she gets in your car. But if YOU CHOOSE to come pick her up, even though you know that she doesn't want to see you, there's nothing I can do about that except tell you that, so that's what I'm doing, I'm telling you that. (end of message)

60) 02-01-2012 (From Bob C)
John, this is Bob C. Circe just informed me to give you a call and let you know that DD has a chemistry test tomorrow morning and will not be able to make the counselling appointment. If you have any questions, please call Circe at and follow up with her. I am just the messenger, and she asked me to get that message to you immediately.

61) 02-05-2012
Um, I'm going out to California for six days. Bob C and I are going to go visit my son in CA and watch him play a concert he's conducting a long piece of music with the band and the conductor asked him if he would like to conduct a piece and i promised him I'd go watch it. And it is going to fall partially over the weekend that you have DD. So on that weekend, I will not be getting into Cleveland until Sunday around I'm just saying 11:30 pm. So it will be your responsibility to make sure DD gets back to town so she can go to school in the morning. So, just wanted to clarify that and um, that's it.

62) 02-07-2012
She has work on Sunday at 2:30. It's going to take me 20 minutes to get her there. She probably needs to be home by 2:00 so she can get ready. That's this Sunday, and um, that's it.

63) 02-09-2012
You're still doing it. You are contacting DD and not contacting me about visitation. She told me you said you were going to pick her up at 8pm tomorrow night. Um, that's not going to happen. You're not going to take her home at 9 o'clock at night, and then turn around the next day on the weekend that she has a very full day, wake her up you know, at 7 o'clock and no, you're going to have to LEAVE at 7 o'clock to have her to the hospital by 8 o'clock. That's not even reasonable. So that's not going to happen. Pick her up on Saturday when she is done volunteering and take her downtown. That IS what's going to happen. And stop using DD to make your plans. That's not going to happen anymore either.

64) 02-10-2012 (From Bob C)
John, this is Bob C, and Circe asked me to relay a message to you because she's at work. Circe found out that you were trying to coordinate with DD to pick her up at 8pm because of a work conflict. She called and left you a voice mail message that said considering that DD has to drive back and forth from the West Side and have to do her volunteering tomorrow that that was too late and uh, you should just pick her up after she is done volunteering. Unless she heard from you that that is what you will do and she hasn't heard from you yet. She just found out from DD that you were trying to change that time now from 8 o'clock to 9 o'clock and that is even that much more later. And that would not be advisable uh, to try to coordinate or make any revisions with DD because she is a MINOR and she doesn't have any rights. Making any changes, you do have to coordinate changes and revisions between two parental parents directly. And so Circe just wanted me to let you know that unless you talk to her or communicate with her that she will just expect you to pick up DD after volunteering which is probably what's best for her. And then you can have her the rest of the weekend and you can get your visitation in. Thank you very much, have a good day.

65) 02-10-2012
You contact DD through Facebook. You expect her to answer you through Facebook. You have no right to put her in the middle and ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS or tell her what you're doing 'cause remember? The divorce agreement that you want to follow so carefully tells you you're not allowed to do that. So you can't just pick and choose which rules you want to follow from the agreement and which ones you don't. So I'm going to block you from Facebook if I have to because you ARE putting her in the middle and you are getting her upset. "Mommy, I didn't know what to do, why is he asking me?" Quote unquote. Now, if you don't think that that is upsetting your daughter because you're putting her in the middle, then you're crazy, and you're going to stop it.

66) 02-10-2012 (from Bob C)
John, this is Bob C, and I got your message. I will relay your information to Circe at work. And um, Circe said that she got a text message to you about working at 11 - 7 and you couldn't pick up DD until 8 o'clock. Circe sent you a voice mail back that said under the circumstances with her volunteer work at the hospital and you picking her up later, taking her to the west side and bringing her back the next day, that that was not acceptable. I guess at some point during the day you talked to DD in some form to confirm you're picking her up at 8, even though you hadn't talked to Circe or heard her comment that it's too late and that it wouldn't be a good idea. And obviously DD had mentioned well if you're going to pick her up at 8 why don't you just pick me up at 9, which is what Circe found out the change from 8 to 9 was. And I've talked to DD about talking with you about making changes to pick up times without finalizing it with Circe. I told DD that she doesn't have the legal right to do that and that discussions with her about finalizing or approving times shouldn't happen between her and her mom or you and DD. Discussions about conflicts or events that have to happen are good so decisions CAN be made, but not discussions about what times are or are not appropriate and uh, ultimately what changes are done cannot be executed through the minor child. Those have to be executed between the two adults. And so Circe wanted to let you know that under this circumstance picking her up at 8 o'clock, under the circumstances with her volunteering hours at the hospital, driving her back and forth between the east side and the west side is not what's best for DD when she has to work. So Circe wanted me to let you know that you can pick DD up after her volunteer time at the hospital and I would ask you or caution you to not discuss or finalize any changes in visitation times with DD because she's a minor and she doesn't have any legal right to make any changes and (end of message)

67) 02-09-2012
You are still confused. Um, you can't tell me when you're picking up DD. Once you decide that you are forgoing your right to pick her up at six o'clock. Just like I can't tell you when I want to see DD if it's your weekend. If you have her and I say, I'm going to pick her up at noon on Saturday, I'm not allowed to do that unless you agree. Just like you can't just tell me you're picking DD up at 8 or 9 o'clock at night. And Bob C explained to me the things that happened while I was at work today, and he can just tell by your voice mail that you still do not understand the way the law is written. If you come at 8, and DD is not here, that's no one's fault and no one's problem except your own for driving out here when you know she's not going to be here. The problem is you don't tell somebody you're changing the plans and then tell them what the other person is going to agree to. You ASK me if 8 o'clock is ok. I tell you, NO THATS NOT OKAY, and then you either come get her at 6:00 which is what is agreed upon, or you do basically whatever I agree to, because at that point you already gave up your weekend basically when you gave up 6:00. We don't just get to pick and choose the hours and tell the other person what they're going to be. Just because you informed me that you want to pick her up at 8, doesn't mean that I have to say YES because that's what you want. I counter offered with 9:00 or rather, 12:00 on Saturday. If you don't like that, then we can come up with something else, but you don't just get to pick and choose because you were the one who gave up your right at 6:00. Once that happens, I don't even have to agree to anything, John, I can just keep her all weekend if you like. Because that's legally my right. Because you gave up your 6:00 and at that point (end of message)

68) 02-10-2012
I don't have to say it's okay for you to pick her up on Saturday. I'm doing it because I want you to have your visitation. But you're not thinking about anyone else but yourself when you decide well, it's okay to drive her home at 10 o'clock at night, and then put her to bed, and then wake her up at 6:15 or 6:30 the next morning and drag her back to Painesville. That has nothing to do with what DD would prefer. That has everything to do with what you want. And at that point because you didn't get her at six, you're not really entitled to anything. This isn't, this isn't, let's just pick whatever you want. John, do you know, you have never once, not in the entire time I have known you and we have been going through this, you have never once followed this agreement. And so, now that I'm saying, Ok we can stick to the every other weekend, you still have not one time kept it as it is written, six o'clock on Friday to six o'clock on Sunday. You really have no one to scream and yell and complain and bitch and moan about, except yourself. Because you are the one that is always changing this. If you want some stability, only you can provide that. I can't help that you choose to work through your visitation time. I can't change that. I can't change the fact that you never showed up for your visitation every time you were entitled to. I can't change that. But you can't continue to harass DD and put DD in the middle. DD crying this afternoon to Bob C, I'm only doing what I think I'm supposed to be doing, and I don't know what to do, that's what Dad told me, I didn't know that it was wrong. She should never have been contacted to begin with. You are putting her in the middle and it needs to (end of message)

69) 02-16-2012
We're going to have to pick a different weekend so you can see DD. I'm in California until Monday morning. My flight comes in at 8am. There's nothing I can do to change it short of cancelling my flight. My ex-husband Jeff K. is in SC with his wife and he can't help me. I have no other option there's nothing I can do. If you're not willing to bring her home on Sunday then you're going to have to wait for a different weekend to see DD. I don't know what else to tell you. And just for the record, I never wanted some secret meeting just you and I. The reason I wanted you and I to talk is because that's what Neil told me to do. He told me, sit down with John. And my preference was to have a mediator or someone else there to basically be a referee. It wasn't some quiet meeting just between you and I cute and cozy. It was a professional and legal meeting to have the groundwork for a, a, a, a, framework for a, a document that could be turned into something legal and binding. It wasn't some verbal agreement and a handshake that I was trying to accomplish. I was trying to accomplish not having to go to court. Not needing your lawyer be involved except for having him or her put their stample of approval on it and their legal-eese written out and for us to sign. That's all I ever wanted. I didn't want to sit and have some sort of pow-wow and good times. I wanted somebody to help us have a conversation in a reasonable manner. And if you can't be reasonable about understanding that I'm just going to see my kid in CA because I don't have one child like you John, I have four. And they all deserve some of me. And I can't help the fact that I don't have anybody else in my world to get my daughter home except let me think, oh yeah - her dad. You've been let off the hook for thousands of car rides. You're gonna tell me you can't do this one? And then you wonder why I'm unreasonable when I'm saying you have to show up at a given time and drop her off at a given time? It's like you don't make any sense. One minute you're like let's work this out and the (end of message)

70) 02-16-2012
I'll show you the evidence. There is a schedule that this can go all the way back to the very first time you said you wanted to start regular visitation, Bob C sat down on the computer and in Outlook, he moved it forward all the way to January 1, 2013. He has it all worked out and technically that weekend isn't even your weekend, John. So you can't basically just announce, oh yeah, this is my weekend, even though technically it isn't, and then you put demands on me that you know damn well I can't fulfill. I can't be... in CA and OH at the same time. I have no one else to help me out except Bob C who is going to be in CA with me as well. So which issue do you want me to address, the fact that you're not willing to bring your daughter home to go to school? The fact that you don't understand that I didn't choose to move to Westlake and I'm not willing after I do all the driving for the entire 2 weeks that you don't have DD, I'm not willing to get in the car and drive to Westlake to go pick her up. It's unreasonable. It shouldn't even be in question. Or do we want to address the fact that technically on paper, it's not even your weekend to begin with so, which argument do you want to get picky about here? Because I'm not digging my heels in just to dig my heels in, I don't, I can't physically pick up a child if I'm not physically in the state? Who am I going to ask, my 90-year-old neighbor Garnet, because she's a friend of mine? Should I ask my mother who is 77 and disabled, or my dad that's just had a stroke? Who are you expecting in my life to just going to randomly volunteer to go pick up your daughter and bring her back to town? If you can't bring her back John you can't pick her up, period. And if you pick her up knowing that she has no way home then guess what, you'll HAVE to take her to school or just leave her where's she's at and then, that's a great answer. Just for what, because you're stubborn? How immature is that? And who do you think is going to suffer? Not me, not you, oh yeah, let me think... DD.

71) 02-16-2012
So like, please tell me one more time how this isn't personal. You're going to tell me that this has nothing to do with being stubborn, simply for the sake of being stubborn. You sent wrote me a long e-mail once about how, well, you know my ex-husband Jeff K. let DD stay over there so that she could be with her brothers and sisters, and you know, that you allowed that and it proves that you can be flexible. Well, yeah. But my question is, why am I the only one that has to be flexible, like I have not already been flexible enough? John you haven't missed a gig or a day of work because of DD in years. You have no clue what it's really like to have to be the one and only parent to sit and basically pick up all the slack. You didn't miss work like I had to miss work. You didn't give up the time that you had Christmas parties, um picnics, things that I could have gone to that I couldn't because YOU refused to give up what YOU were doing so I had to do it. And you can sit there and say, well you're the custodial parent, you're playing both sides of the same coin and it makes no sense. You either prove to me that you, too, are going to make some sort of concession like bringing DD home. Or, you basically proven to me that the only person you're expecting to be flexible some more is me. I don't know what you want this agreement to look like. I don't even know why you're taking me to court. I don't even think that YOU know why you're taking me to court. The only person that broke the agreement the entire time is you. You had zero schedule for 15 years and now all of a sudden you want one? You had no duty or obligation whatsoever and I took care of practically everything and now all of a sudden you act like you're entitled? What are you entitled to, John? It really blows my mind that you think I'm the one that's not being flexible when you didn't show up for years at any scheduled time. You think that was ME being inflexible? DD CAN'T come out to your house if you're not going to bring her home. It's just that simple. This isn't brain surgery. She can't be abondoned out there and miss (end of message)